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"They can have my rudder when they pry it out of my cold, dead hand"
Spring has finally arrived, a week earlier than usual for me, with the opening of Paramount's Kings Island and their new attraction, "Tomb Raider: The Big Secret." I put my visit off until Sunday, hoping for smaller opening-weekend crowds than on Saturday. Of course I didn't count on the cold weather, but my decision still worked in my favor partly because I had to work on Saturday, but mostly because Sunday brought the best weather of the weekend.
I collected my requisite carload, the usual suspects John and Brad, accompanied this time by John's girlfriend, and after a detour into Cincinnati proper, David Bowers. We arrived at the park at about a quarter after nine and met with the assembled crowd of coaster nuts. I took some ribbing for actually entering the park in time for the walk-back.
There was some bad news about the walk-back: The Beast was still not operational, and due to persistent problems, Tomb Raider:The Big Secret wasn't an option. This is bad news? Not hardly...the result was a visit to Flight of Fear for what would be my very first ride of the season.
Flight of Fear
Well, there is a tiny bit of bad news here. For 2002, a new diamond-plate barrier
has been installed on the floor of the car. This is intended, as nearly as I
can tell, to insure that you do not put your legs through the lap bar above
the ankle-bar, thus insuring your proper position under the lap bar. Trouble
is, for those of us who have big feet, it further reduces the footroom in the
car. There is a little more room on the left-hand side; I found that I could
barely fit in the right-hand seat. I also found that I can't pull the lap bar
back as far because my feet are too big. Where do they find the itty-bitty
people who they design these rides for?? I barely fit...but I do fit.
The unexpectedly tight fit caused some station delay, then we were off with a bang, me on my very first roller coaster ride of 2002. About halfway down the launch tunnel I noticed that the work-lights were on in the barrel. Cool! Twisted trackwork is everywhere. I had seen it all before, but never from this vantage point. I let out an excited scream: "FOR FIVE YEARS I HAVE BEEN WANTING TO DO THIS!!!" Unfortunately someone must have heard me because no sooner did I get the words out of my mouth when the work lights went out, plunging the ride into the usual not-quite-total darkness. The ride continued unbraked until the unload station approach brake where I indistinctly heard some kind of utterly unintelligible PA announcement, we slid into the unload station and unloaded. What a cool ride. I should have ridden again. But I felt a stronger urge. It was time to fly.
Across the midway and down a little from Flight of Fear is a path running from Coney Mall, past the now completely and beautifully repainted Vortex, to Rivertown. On this path is Kings Island's wildest ride. Especially when our group is riding. It's a park model Bish-Rocco Flying Scooter, probably the second-oldest ride in the park, after the carousel. The cycle time is a little short, but the action is unmatched by any other ride in the park. My first ride it took me a couple of revolutions to get the hang of it, but before long we were all doing our best to scare people out of the queue. Such a fun ride! Better still, after more than 30 years of operation, Kings Island isn't afraid to let riders show off their skills even though it means the ride makes terrible crunching noises. Many thnks, Kings Island, for maintaining this ride in particular for our enjoyment!
Several cycles later, we went on down the midway. Rivertown has received a bit of a face-lift. For starters, there is a fresh layer of asphalt extending from the path joint across from the The Beast entrance all the way down to the bridge just past the railway station. The merchandise shop is now filled with Tomb Raider merchandise, and is now flanked by new joints containing the old Peach Basket game and an Icee stand. With The Beast still in hibernation, we passed Tomb Raider: The Ride. The ride had not opened yet, but as several of us are a little on the large side (I'm one of the smallest people in our group...and if you've seen me in person you know I'm not exactly a little guy!) we all checked out the test seat. I discovered that it is configured in such a way that not only do I fit fairly easily even in my heaviest sweater, but if I had my usual bag with me, it could also be easily accommodated. Some of our group consumed the local french fries; not being hungry I declined such participation, but I did notice that the same stand now also serves beer. The adjacent dining patio has been enlarged to occupy the space where the Peach Basket game used to be, and behind that, in what was once the reservoir for Kenton Cove's Keelboat Canal, is a large concrete patio completely surrounded by thick trees. This patio will soon be shaded with large canvas covers, and supplies the outdoor entry queue for Tomb Raider: The Big Secret. By the time everyone had finished, Tomb Raider: The Big Secret had opened.
Next to the patio is a small set of electronic lockers where $0.50 buys you 90 minutes, and each additional hour or fraction costs you a dollar. Just about right for waiting in line for a new major attraction, but be aware that the statement on the inside of the locker door caps liability to $25.00, so don't leave anything valuable inside. These lockers are to the right of a small concrete plaza which looks a bit like dried mud, complete with evidence of fossilized stuff, recently removed branches, and the like. To the left is a cave opening which is the entrance to Tomb Raider: The Big Secret. To the right is the entrance to the large open queue space. We entered the queue, which is entirely conventional in the outdoor portion, except that it will be shaded by canvas covers supported on welded bamboo poles.
(Spoilers follow. Use your select cursor as a Secret Decoder Ring.)
Tomb Raider: The Big Secret
The queue emerges next to the cave entrance, and from
then on, it's a straight shot into the ride. As you enter the cave, you are
standing on a bridge over a shallow pit. Various bits of rubble can be seen
below you, and my fear is that this pit will be full of garbage before too long,
as there are no wastebaskets in the inside queue. On the walls are various artifacts,
and this is clearly an archaeological dig. Bamboo poles are used to support
a canvas awning, probably to prevent loose stone from falling on the archaeologists
(or on us). Small lanterns are strung on open wiring on either side of the bridge
to provide a little illumination; a couple of quartz lights help as well. The
queue winds around a bit, then turns an abrupt corner into a large chamber.
Usually referred to as the "monkey room", this is the room with monkey-like statues in alcoves on both sides. It's much larger than the rest of the queue, and at this point an attendant actually counts off enough people to fill the ride. The ride has three rows of seats...two rows of 25 and one row of 27, although there were a couple of roped-off seats when I rode. It seems that they counted off the right number of riders for the number of working seats, but didn't put them all in the right rows. More about that later.
In this room, it appears that nothing happens, except that we are divided into three rows to facilitate orderly procession into the next room. At some point, the gigantic stone wall ahead of us slides open, allowing us to progress into the next chamber. We enter the next chamber, apparently oblivious to the fact that the door that slid open in front of us may well slide shut again behind us unless someone remembers to prop it open with something. The room features a large stone idol sitting on one side and is mostly a decorated stone chamber. Naturally, nobody remembers to prop the door open, and it slides shut behind us. At that moment, the chamber goes completely dark, and remains that way for several seconds. I was surprised that nobody shrieked, which is what usually happens when the lights go out.
When the lights come back up, an oval screen has appeared in front of the big stone character. On this screen, we see video clips of Laura Croft doing her thing, presumably just scenes from the Tomb Raider movie. None of it makes much sense to me, as I have neither seen the movie nor played the video game, but the clip does show Laura performing some stunts including a couple involving a large swinging beam.
At the end of the video clip, the screen retracts into its hiding place, and another door opens in front of us. This time, we proceed past the clearly marked chicken chute and up three parallel ramps and onto the ride.
It should be revealed at this point that the ride is, in fact, a Huss Giant Top Spin. Mechanically, it is basically the same as a normal Top Spin, only bigger. Also, the loading process is streamlined a bit as there are three loading bridges, while the original Top Spin uses a step-up platform. This allows all three rows to be loaded simultaneously instead of one row at a time as on the original ride. The ride is painted black and the mechanical parts are barely visible. Loading is further simplified because instead of hydraulically-actuated shoulder bars and ball-crushers, the ride has manual shoulder bars equipped with manual safety belts. I sat in the back row near the left-hand side. The seat next to mine was roped off, and there was one rider too many in our row as a result, but another seat was available in another row...so apparently the counting person got the total count correct but the distribution wrong. Peering carefully in the dark I could make out a large stone figure on the wall in front of us, much like the one in the previous chamber; and on the ceiling I could see three ventilation shafts and I could make out the famous razor sharp stalagtites we've heard so much about. I guessed there was probably a pit of molten lava directly below us as well. We've heard a lot about that as well!
Once everyone was secure and the attendants left the platform, the ride slowly rotated forward a little more than 90 degrees to bring us face-to-face with the big stone head on the wall. A dramatic change in lighting revealed a somewhat different personality under black-light. The platform was locked in place and we were rotated up to come face to face with the stalagtites, from which a fine, cool mist was pouring. A few seconds up there, then a kick over the top (I think we flipped once at this point) and ultimately we were brought back around to that face-to-the-wall position, then rocked backward to put us head-down and face-down, hanging from the shoulder bars, facing the much-ballyhooed pit of molten lava. Okay, so it was water illuminated with red lights. Fountains were pumping straight up at us, not close enough to actually hit us as I guess that was causing problems with the ride. Fine with me, as I really didn't want to be wet. It's a dramatic moment in the ride, but it is maintained far too long, as it's not entirely pleasant to be dangled from a shoulder bar. Finally, the tub is cut loose and the arms are swung around, to bounce us a bit, then a voice makes some announcement that I could barely hear, and the lights return to the way they were for loading. It feels like there ought to be something more, but there isn't. We sit for a few seconds, the bridges drop silently, and the shoulder bars are unlocked without fanfare.
That was it? The comment I heard most was that the ride was "too short" which is an intriguing comment because in fact, the ride cycle is in excess of two minutes, making it one of the longest ride times in the park. The fact that the ride makes a large number of people think it is "too short" when it is such a long ride is telling: The problem isn't that the ride is too short, it's that it doesn't do enough. People who are completely unfamiliar with the ride system will probably appreciate it more than people who are familiar with the Top Spin and know that the ride system is capable of delivering a whole lot more ride than Kings Island is giving. In a real sense, there isn't any stunt-work going on here; they are wasting an amazing ride system, using it just to point people at various sets in the building. They spend too much time with the ride not moving so that we can admire lighting changes and puffs of mist, smoke, and steam. The volcano scene is a remarkable, memorable scene, but it goes far too long. There is a lot going on in there, but doing it with this gigantic ride (it's mind boggling how big this ride platform is!) seems like such a waste because so much of what is happening is literally smoke and mirrors while we're strapped into a ride. Even at that, what the experience is lacking is a dramatic ending. It just sort of stops and makes you wonder what comes next, when in fact what comes next is us walking off the ride and out the exit, wondering what all the hype was about.
We step off the ride and exit, walking around the back of the building, wondering what the hype was about. The lack of an ending extends not only to the ride program, but also to the ride experience, as there is no show whatsoever on the exit. There are so many things that could have been done with this ride that simply weren't. Particularly those of us who know a little bit of what the ride system can do are more than a little disappointed that the ride doesn't really do anything. It's a Top Spin tub used more like a big simulator platform. With a little tweaking, this ride could go from merely interesting to absolutely wild, but while the potential is there, right now it simply doesn't deliver. Of course, this means we're all going to have to keep riding it just to see what Kings Island does to improve it!
(End spoilers)
We exited Tomb Raider: The Ride discussing our reactions to it. None of us was terribly surprised, none of us hated it, and I don't think any of us were blown away by it either. Vortex was now operational, so we headed in that direction, stopping first at our favorite ride, the Flying Scooters. We discussed how one might score an aerialist's performance, with points for such things as early action, maximum amplitude, number of bystanders frightened away, stuff like that. Finally we arrved at Vortex.
Vortex
We barely recognized Vortex when we got there. The new paint job is complete,
and the structure looks like a brand new ride. Because of the light crowd there
was virtually no wait even though only two trains were running (the third train
had suffered a ...um... let's just call it a small but serious mechanical problem).
My first Vortex ride was in my customary row, front of the last car.
The ride has a different sound this year, and I'm not sure if it's the new paint
or what. It seems to be slightly faster, and a bit louder...and I heard none
of the squeaking that has been characteristic of Vortex for the past
few seasons especially on cold days. Better still, the braking on the mid-course
has been reduced a bit so that the train no longer comes to a full-stop up there.
The result is slightly more speed in the last half of the ride, which makes
a tremendous difference when the train goes through the corkscrews. I guess
now that the people who like hanging from shoulder bars have another attraction
to try, we can endure less of that kind of thing on Vortex.
Another ride provided an opportunity to scope out a couple of key areas of The Beast. From Vortex it appears that all three trains are parked on the storage track, and several fin-brake calipers are visible on the final brake run. This means that officially, Ohio is down to only three wood coasters (Raging Wolf Bobs, Big Dipper, and Sea Dragon) still equipped with skid brakes. Ironically, all three are operated by Six Flags. Of those, only Sea Dragon has hand levers. Since The Beast's crew also works the Flying Scooters, we had an opportunity to learn that The Beast may be operating next weekend. There are a lot of other stories circulating about what has been done to The Beast, but we won't know the whole truth until it opens.
Several of us wanted to grab camera gear, so we made a run to the car, stopping on the way out to ride Adventure Express. No major news on this one; it's still a pretty darned good Runaway Train with a lousy ending. Perhaps that's what it all comes down to: the park simply doesn't do well with endings.
Speaking of endings, King Cobra was quietly ending its service at Kings Island. The infamous rabbit-hop, the lift hill, and one lone piece of track beneath the lift peak are all that is left. Seeing the mostly-dismantled ride, Dave Bowers looked at the top of the lift, where the track just sort of ends, and told me he thought they were taking the whole extreme coaster concept just a little too far.
Upon re-entering the park, we visited the top of the Eiffel Tower, where I failed to see exactly where the King Cobra parts are being stacked. We adjourned to the kiddie section where many of our gang indulged in blue ice cream, and Dave Bowers and I rode the Beastie. Why is there a brake on this ride???
Camera in hand, I joined the group in circling the park the long way. Ray spent the longest 20 minutes any of us can remember taking another ride on Tomb Raider while the rest of us took a circuit on the train. Rugrats Runaway Reptar Roller Coaster was closed, and we couldn't get anywhere near The Beast. We scoped out the arcade at the ride's exit, and when Ray finally emerged from the tomb, we rode the Flying Scooters, visited Vortex, then took a ride on the Racer.
The Racer
The Racer has one of the absolute worst PTC trains in operation today.
It has the old, short seat dividers. It has rock-hard seatbacks disguised by
a vinyl cover. Worse, it has the individual ratcheting lap bars. That's bad
enough...worst of all, the lap bar pivot shaft is misaligned by about 45 degrees
so that not only is the first latching position a lot lower than it should be,
that bar will continue latching in lower and lower positions untin the lap bar
touches the seat cushion. To make matters worse, it has wimpy return springs.
Kings Island has done lots of trackwork on the Racer and it is running great. Pity the repair work didn't extend to the train. Just before the turnaround, I got nailed. With the lap bar that tight, there was no way for me to get myself out, and my yelps of pain and calls for help went nearly unheeded by the platform crew. Specifications for these lap bars do, in fact, exist; why is it such a problem to comply with the specifications? It would be so much easier on me if I simply hated the ride, but in fact I like the Racer and I want to enjoy it; I just can't take the beating the trains dish out.
From the Racer we detoured to Top Gun for a predictably excellent ride, then to Son of Beast.
Son of Beast
Son of Beast has received changes to the trains again. Not the most desperately
needed change (that would involve loading the cars into a trebouchet and slinging
them into the river), but a soft, thick, angled pad has been added to the seat.
In combination with the raised floor from last year, this means that with your
knees hiked up into your chest you actually have something supporting your weight.
I don't think it reduces the clearance in the car any, but the car is still
terrible. The lap bar is too narrow (based on the Gerstlauer design??), the
seatback is uncushioned, and the train can't navigate the course smoothly. But
I am getting ahead of myself. The ride is indeed running more smoothly than
ever, but unfortunately that isn't saying much. The jackhammering it was known
for in prior years is mostly gone, and what little bit remains is mostly taken
up by the new seat cushion. So to that extent, it is an improvement. But the
nasty jolt at the top of the second hill is still there, and the continuous
side-to-side shuffle brought on by the badly-engineered cars and the all-twister
layout is still very much apparent. Eventually, perhaps they will come to their
senses on this train, but for the moment Son of Beast lives up to its
acronym as a coaster with almost no redeeming qualities. That said, it is running
better than ever, at least for now. The station drop, first drop, loop, and
final drop are interesting enough, but the price you pay for those bits is that
you have to sit through those damnable helixes.
Face/Off
The story is different across the midway. There, Face/Off was a little
late opening, but with the small crowd in the park there was only a short wait
for the ride. We all opted to ride in the front row, and as we were being winched
backward up the first lift I noticed that PKI_GUY was manning the controls.
Face/Off, a Vekoma Invertigo, is really an excellent ride, though
the forces in the Boomerang border on extreme for some riders. Really? I wouldn't
want to ride it all day, but in all honesty, I don't have a problem with the
forces on the ride. Better still, Vekoma has refined the design enough that
the ride really isn't a headbanger, the big ear pads on the shoulder bars are
really unnecessary, and the only real problem with the ride is its abysmal capacity.
I didn't time it, but the crew did seem to be doing a reasonable job of getting
the trains out, but even at that, the ride's capacity is really awful. That
said, with almost nobody in the park, it was a good opportunity to ride this
thing without an exhaustive wait.
By this time it was about an hour and a half until closing and we had ridden all the coasters. We made the obvious decision and spent the rest of the evening honing our skills on the Flying Scooters.
The day got off to a slow start because of the cold weather, but we ended up with beautiful weather, virtually every ride in the park operating, and a small crowd. The result was a fantastic day for visiting the park, and I know I had a great time, even though I miss The Beast and the Runaway Reptar. It was a great way to start my roller coaster season, and in spite of a few glitches here and there, I think Kings Island's season is off to a good start as well.
--Dave Althoff, Jr.
Next: Paramount's Kings Island (#2)
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