Trip Report: Paramount's Kings Island
Mason, Ohio - 04/18/2004

"I want that projector!"

The weather was about as perfect as it gets this time of year...clear, blue skies and temperatures in the 80's. Unseasonably warm for April, and actually warmer and nicer than most of last summer. The only thing really lacking was the leaves on the trees and much of the landscaping in the park. Understandable, since it is just after mid-April.

Sean Flaharty prepares to ride on the Flying Eagles.

As has become my habit at Kings Island, once inside, I proceeded directly to the Flying Scooter. As the ride experience on Kings Islands coasters has continued to deteriorate in recent years, this antique ride has become the park's saving grace, particularly because of the manner in which it is operated. Last week, it seemed that I was a bit out of practice. Today, aided by a nice gentle cross-wind, I quickly redeemed myself. Sean Flaharty and his gang were riding when we arrived. After I put on my little air show, he did the introductions and invited us to join him for a ride on Flight of Fear.

Flight of Fear is a ride that has generally improved with age, especially at the beginning of the 2001 season. The more I ride it now, the more I enjoy it. This time I took a ride in the front seat. We shot down the launch track and into the dark ride building. There were no lights on this time. Then about halfway through the ride, the train slowed unexpectedly. Not the complete stop from 1996-2000, but it slowed. What's this? I don't think I've felt that brake in at least the past three years. The brake was off last Friday, and I am hoping that today was an anomaly. It does hurt the ride just a little when that brake is on.

We continued down Coney Mall, and when we got to the Racer, Sean and his friends couldn't decide whether to ride or not. Since the ride was a walk-on, Dave and I decided we could take a ride in the time it took Sean's group to make up their mind. As it turns out, Sean and Co. were the smart ones: instead of riding the Racer, they proceeded on down to the Action Zone. We started with the North Racer, where I made the mistake of letting Dave stick me in Row #3. My favorite seat on Magnum XL-200, and apparently his favorite on the Racer. On the North Racer, I find that seat to be far less than satisfying. In fact, I daresay thre bench on the midway in front of the ride would be more fun. First of all, the Racer has a couple of the worst PTC trains I have ever ridden. Except for the bottom seat cushion (thank goodness for small favors!) there isn't a soft pad anywhere in that seat. The itty bitty seat dividers are utterly worthless, backed up by a secondary seat divider all the way up to my armpit which accomplishes nothing but to cause nasty bruises. Then there are those ridiculous lap bars, which are about 45 degrees out of alignment to begin with, putting the first detent right about where I want the bar to be, except that the park wants a "two-click" minimum. To do that, I have to stand up, pull down, then slide under, which has the hazardous side effect of getting me tightly wrapped around the bar. This means that on the harsh dips immediately before and after the second lift hill (the tall hill with the booster chain going over the top) but before the turnaround, the bar comes crashing down a couple more notches, well below where it is supposed to stop. Of all the things that have been done to these trains over the years, I'd say the new for 2004 seat belts, oddly enough, are about the only thing that's been done right!

So I squeezed into the train, forced the lap bar into the PKI-approved position, fastened the seat belt, and off we went. The ride was fine until it got to the top of the lift hill. That's when it started bouncing, the same sort of bounce that I usually associate with the Big Dippers at Geauga Lake and Camden Park. It jackhammered through the dips, battering me between the lap bar and the seat back. When the bar came down just before the turnaround, it was pretty much over for me. The rest of the ride was basically a hellish torture that made me wonder why I bothered. I think I shall stay out of those rear-axle seats for the rest of the season, and perhaps stay off the Racer altogether. It's such a shame...the Racer used to be the most fun coaster at Kings Island, now it is simply awful. What is it with this park and their apparent goal of making all of their wooden coasters completely unrideable?

After that experience, we did what any insane coaster nut would do...we turned right around and rode the recaR htuoS. Again, we sat in the third seat, but there is an important difference here: because the train has been reversed, the third seat is really a front seat. This means the distance from the seat back to the front wall of the car is a little less than in a back seat, and it means the seat is ahead of the wheel, instead of over it. So in that seat the geometry is a bit different from the same seat over on the Northern track. So it wasn't total insanity. Insanity would be doing the same thing again expecting a different result. We made some key changes, most important switching over to a different track. The result was a huge difference. On this track, the ride was smooth and fast, and ran the way the Racer used to run. How can two parallel, identical tracks give such radically different rides? Why is it that the South track runs great while the North track runs like crap? Fix the trains, and the recaR htuoS would be a great ride! But then, lousy trains are most of the trouble with the North Racer, too.

Jumbo Shrimp

On leaving Coney Mall, I pointed out the sight gag on the top of the old Oktoberfest Gardens building, now Bubba Gump's Shrimp Shack or something like that. On top of the building is the word "SHRIMP" in eight-foot-high letters. I guess you could call that "jumbo Shrimp." I tried to set Dave up to deliver the punch line, but it took a lot of prodding.

Next on the circuit is Adventure Express. Adventure Express actually runs pretty well. It has a lot of cosmetic issues, especially the burned out lights on the second lift (it's dark in there; one can hardly see arm-pumping statues...) and the door that won't close, also on the second lift. But where it counts, the ride performs very nicely. It appears to be short one train, but it's also very early in the season. It also didn't matter much because the ride was a walk-on anyway.

Delirium

A spin on Delirium reminded us both again that the Giant Frisbee is easily one of the best new rides on the market. Need I say more? We rode, then met up again with Sean's group as they were boarding Drop Zone. We were a cycle behind them.

Drop Zone

For some reason it was easier for me to fit into Drop Zone this time around. I don't know whether it is because the seats are not all the same, or because I've learned how to slouch properly. Dave is a little taller than me, so he had to slouch more than I did. I don't understand why the ride doesn't go around twice anymore, there is plenty of time during the climb to the top of the tower.

After debating the merits of each option, we decided to ride Son of Beast. The ride was operating, and required a minimal wait. Knowing full well the history of the ride, we went immediately for the middle row of the last car. After all, we were assured months ago that the ride had been "fixed." I dunno, it still looks like the same miserable Premier trains to me...

Either my legs are a little shorter, or the floor has been lowered a little bit. It's still a really awkward seating position, but it isn't a struggle to pull the lap bar down over my knees anymore. Coming out of the station, the train still shuffles violently. It rattles noisily up the lift, wiggles around a bit at the top, then heads down the first major drop. So far, so good, but this isn't the bad part yet. At the top of the second hill, as always, the back end of the train falls off the outside rail with a really nasty jerk. Then we plunge into the first, counter-clockwise helix.

It's true. It is better than it was last year. When the train goes through the high-speed section at the bottom of the helix, the road wheels stay on the track and the track stays solid, meaning that the pile-driver effect is gone. That is the good part. Unfortunately, the trains still can't steer, which means the shuffle at the upper part of the helix is just as bad as ever. There seems to be some lubricant on the rails, which helps a bit. We round the corner, then take the long drop into the loop, the one part of the ride that actually works. Then the second helix features both shuffle and bounce. The bottom line? Son of Beast is running better than ever. That much is true. Unfortunately it isn't saying a lot. The ride still has significant problems, and it will be interesting, to say the least, to see how the park addresses those problems.

Fixing problem coasters is something Kings Island seems to be pretty good at. The most radical fix, of course, was when they yanked out The Bat, then ultimately ended up installing Top Gun which may very well be the best suspended coaster around. I realize it's a copy of Canada's Wonderland's Vortex, but Top Gun runs better than Vortex. Hey, until they fixed Flight of Fear, Top Gun was arguably Kings Island's best coaster.

Another problem coaster is, of course, Face/Off. At least I know from experience that it is a problem coaster. You wouldn't know it from the way it was running today, though. It ran without visible hiccups, and from my vantage point in the back of the penultimate car I was able to get a view of how the sled attaches on the first lift. Odd, when the train gets to the top of the first lift, it looks like the train slips a little. But the train doesn't move...apparently the train hits a hard-stop and the sled continues to pull for a few seconds before the sled lets go. I'd think that would ultimately damage the brake fin and the sled...it does make a horrible noise when it does that. Anyway, as was the case last week, Face/Off was giving a much-improved ride over years past.

Having ridden everything in the Action Zone, we crossed the park centerline and rode Scooby Doo, where my score was respectable (and better than Dave's) but somehow the targets didn't seem as responsive as usual. Even at point-blank range some of them didn't want to go off. I did learn over the winter that the phenomenon I noticed last year is real: the guns...er..."fright-lights"...do not rapid-fire, and will punish you if you try.

I took my first ride of the season on Beastie. Am I the only one who has noticed that each successive generation in the Beast family is taller than the previous one? Anyway, this 40' junior coaster is, unlike the other three wood coasters in the park, running very nicely apart from the unnecessary trim brake on the second upper turnaround. Why don't the big wood coasters run this well?

Rugrats Runaway Reptar Roller Coaster was next, and I don't know what went wrong. It was a short line, but I swear, Scooby Doo's Ghoster Coaster was moving people faster than Reptar. The wait was far longer than experience would suggest, and once on board, the ride was a whole lot rougher than I remember it. Not intolerably so, but certainly unusually violent for this ride.

The Beast was running only two trains and so had an unexpectedly long line. This meant I had a chance to ses a little more of the Beast history video, but it is almost entirely inaudible. Imagine that...in a park known for playing midway music painfully loud, the queue video is so quiet it is almost impossible to hear. Going up the ramp, I saw a segment of the video where Carole Sanderson and Sean Flaharty were talking about The Beast in their official capacities as ACE spokesmen [Footnote 1]. At the top of the ramp was Sean Flaharty and company, so I hollered at him: "Hey! I just saw that guy on TV on down the ramp!" I don't know if he didn't hear me, or if he chose to ignore me. Such a celebrity...!

The ride was, unfortunately, not living up to its legend. I sat in the back seat, and I swear the thing felt like it was running on square wheels. It was the same bouncing I got on the North Racer, only magnified by the higher speed and longer ride. A bit of violence is to be expected on a wood coaster, but the NAD Bounce (like the Dinn Shuffle) is not "proper" roughness. Furthermore, Kings Island's bouncing woodies are both running (bad) PTC trains...so why are they running like NADs? Seriously, The Beast was running as though it belongs on the other side of the Ohio River. I don't expect that kind of bad ride from this coaster. Kings Island's wood coaster staff has always done better than this. It was one of the worst rides on The Beast I've had in years. What is with Kings Island's wood coasters this season? Or is it just me? I got off disappointed, and Sean reappeared from the front of the train telling us his ride had been great. I'll give the ride the benefit of the doubt for now, but let the record show that this time around, my ride on it stunk, and left me with a nasty headache.

Having ridden all of the coasters (except Ghoster Coaster and Taxi Jam) we started in on the flat rides: the Troika, the Monster, and the Wave Swinger. Most notable among these was the Scrambler, which was notable not only because it is running very nicely, but because it has been repainted bright yellow with green and purple tubs. What got my attention, though, was the tubs. The outboard side of each tub has a painted aluminum skin (with the metal left bare where the safety pin would scratch the paint). What I noticed was the three rows of unpainted rivets on the outboard side of each tub. I have seen what Scrambler tubs look like when they are torn apart, and I have a pretty good idea of what a big job it is to pull and replace the skins. The inboard and bottom rivets are painted, so I don't think Kings Island replaced the outer skins, but they clearly pulled the outer skins loose and presumably took a look at the ribs on the inside. Somebody worked hard on this ride over the winter.

The other thing we did on this trip to the park was to take in the new show in the Paramount Theater. The theater has been completely renovated, and features a totally new live show. Instead of the usual amusement park shows with song and dance numbers and a lot of gratuitous hand-waving, the new show focuses on the art and practice of filmmaking. It also differs from the typical Paramount amusement park show in its use of technology. The last show I saw at Kings Island was a truly awful Scooby Doo-themed show with an audio track that was entirely recorded, right down to the performer's "mistakes". This show used recorded music and automated staging, but everything was manually cued by the show's director, to accommodate the audience participation. Personally, as an A/V tech, I'm envious of the big video projector. 8-)

The show features a demonstration of classic foley work, and a sample of traveling matte technique (in this case done with chroma-key). It's all very well done, with a bit of humor, a bit of self-awareness...and I think it's the only show I've ever seen to feature the Nokia Theme in a prominent role. It's a good show, well worth seeing.

We finished our day in the usual way, with a ride on the Flying Eagles. An interesting thing happened. With the small crowd in the park, it seemed most of the people who stayed until close were Scooter pilots. The park's closing announcement played, and the ride ran several more cycles just to empty the queue. One of the operators remarked on how late the ride was staying open, and I think he was right...I think the Flying Scooter was the last ride to close. While we waited, the Security team watched the air show, and we could hear the sounds of the park closing down around us. From back in the woods we heard the roar of the boiler being drained on the train. Across the midway, Vortex parked on its lift. The lift hill speakers on The Beast were turned off. Finally the last of us took our final flight of the night.

So the whole experience is a bit of a mixed bag. The park has the good, the bad, and the absolutely dreadful. But on the whole, it's still one of the nation's better parks, and I'm happy it's close enough to be local.

--Dave Althoff, Jr.

Footnote 1: Carole, who happens to be female, is properly called a "spokesman". Deal with it. [Return to text]

--DCAjr

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